Pairing: Building Relationships in the Classroom

Photo borrowed from Anger Management Resource (

We all have to put in the time and effort to build positive relationships with students. I’ve recently been working with some staff on building positive relationships with the students in their classroom. Pairing, a process of associating oneself with positive reinforcement through consistently matching yourself with positive stimuli, is a helpful strategy to building (and rebuilding) relationships with students.

Whether it’s a home program or within a classroom, pairing can help establish the relationship between teacher and student. I think pairing is a key component at the beginning of any behavioral program and is essential to the failure or success of your program.

One of the basic premises behind a behavioral program is that students will be much more motivated when they are having fun. Therefore, as a teacher or therapist, you must become fun for the student. Pairing is used to help the child get used to the teacher/therapist and look forward to teaching/therapy sessions. A good way to establish instructional control is for teachers to first connect themselves with positive reinforcement. It begins with noncontingent reinforcement. In other words, the student is first reinforced without having demands placed on him or her. This initially could be in the form of a compliment or tangible item (it depends on what is motivating to the student).

In the beginning, the only requirement for getting access to reinforcement (besides the lack of undesirable behavior) is that the student take the reinforcers from the teacher. Technically speaking, the reinforcement is still contingent, as there must be an absence of undesired behavior (tantrums, aggression, SIB, etc.) for reinforcement to be delivered. However the focus for the teacher/therapist is to seek and provide as many positive reinforcement opportunities for the student as possible.

After this is happening consistently (after several hours or even days), the teacher/therapist must gradually fade in demands; slowly increase the response requirement before reinforcement can be given. Eventually the teacher/therapist will be able to gradually present more demands of varying difficulty. Successful pairing will help ensure the reinforcement value of learning is not lowered while at the same time preventing the increasing the value of escape.

Pairing essentially involves 3 elements which must be in close association with each other:

1) The student The learner who is seeking positive reinforcement

2) The teacher/therapist Becomes the conduit by which the student obtains reinforcement.

3) The student’s desires and reinforcers. The student has to want it, or it’s never going to work.

In order to become a reinforcer themselves, a teacher or therapist will have to capture and contrive MOs/EOs and identify strong reinforcers with which they can be paired. Often times this may mean providing limited access to reinforcing items to certain times of day or under certain conditions in order to increase the desire to obtain them. A teacher/therapist may also have to contrive the setting under which this occurs (such as a space with increased likelihood to obtain reinforcement, such as play areas, play centers, etc.). Once this happens, everything associated with the teacher, especially learning itself, becomes reinforcing.

Whether you are a teacher, therapist, counselor, paraprofessional, administrator, or parent; your position alone does not automatically make you a reinforcing person in a student’s life. Pairing is a systematic way to help you establishing trust and connect yourself with reinforcement. It is this association with that solidifies the child’s view of the therapist as fun and reinforcing. The teacher/therapist becomes a bridge between the student and reinforcers.


This is a simple description of how the pairing process can be implemented in the classroom or at home. I will expand on this in a future post. This is not intended nor shall it be misconstrued as advice. As always, before engaging in any any major behavior change program you should consult an expert or highly trained professional such as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst.



Got Your Poker Face?

In any poker game having your poker face is essential to outwitting your opponent. Life in a classroom of children with emotional and behavior disorders isn’t all that different. I’ve recently been providing support in a self-contained special education classroom where the students have been engaging is some pretty serious misbehavior. Unfortunately, the staff have let it be known, sometimes by their verbal reactions, but mostly by their nonverbal reactions (facial expression) that those behaviors are not welcome and offensive.

One day after school I had a meeting with all the staff to discuss my concerns. In my discussions I pointed out my observation that when staff reacted and let it be known that the students’ behaviors were offensive and upsetting to them, that the students tended to engage in more aberrant behaviors. In fact, the students tended to escalate their behaviors from just verbal behaviors to physical ones.

Sometimes a student with emotional problems may make comments that are intentionally hurtful. At times they may continue the behavior because it gets a reaction and that reaction is perceived as a positive outcome. In these moments a valuable tool in your arsenal is the “poker face”. The “poker face” is a neutral facial expression that is nonjudgemental and nonthreatening. It can be used to show that their behavior does not bother you (even when it really does).

Consider that history may have shown them that this is how they are supposed to behave. Reacting in a way that shows disapproval actually may validate exactly what they were expecting, that they are disgusting towards others and therefore not worthy of positive attention (yes I know that is somewhat mentalist of me to say).

The “Poker Face” helps put the behavior on extinction by no longer providing the validating positive outcome that usually comes as a result of the behavior. At the same time, you can look for opportunities to praise and reinforce acceptable alternative behaviors. Along with the neutral facial expression of the “Poker Face” you have a combination of interventions for behavior that 1) minimizes your negative attention as a factor maintaining behavior and 2) sets you up to teach and reinforce positive alternative behaviors.

This is an example of how certain misbehavior can be addressed in the classroom. This is not intended nor shall it be misconstrued as advice. As always, before engaging in any any major behavior change program you should consult an expert or highly trained professional such as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst.


What’s the plan?: handling a behavioral crisis

The other day I had a student get very upset with me. Not because of anything I said or did, but because I was someone he was not familiar with. He had asked his teacher for help. His teacher, working with another student, was not available to assist him. She told him he could ask me for help. The student did not like that answer. He began to give me angry looks, and started to posture as if he wanted to fight. I looked at him, so he told me to stop staring. Using my Love and Logic, I responded by saying, “I do what people ask, when they ask me nicely.” He didn’t like that very much.

At this point he charged across the room towards me. I was leaning against a bookshelf with my hand on my chin, (a modified, impromptu modification of the CPI supportive stance), but did not move. He very angrily said he was going to rip my face off if I didn’t leave. I responded by saying, “I hope you wouldn’t, but if you feel the need to, you could try, I would just have to take care of myself and keep us both safe. However a better choice would be to go sit down and wait for your teacher’s help.”

Training to handle this type of situation is essential. I have seen this behavior before, therefore I was able to prepare a quick plan for how I would respond should we enter a full blown crisis. Having a plan helped me to stay calm in this situation:

1. Body position. I positioned my body in a way that wasn’t threatening, but at the same time was also safe and respectful. Coming off aggressively might only prompt the student to return the favor.

2. I set my limits. I could have easily said, “You are not allowed to hit me”, but he almost certainly probably would have tested that limit. So I responded by validating that he did have the choice to become physical. I did not get into a power struggle with him. Instead I informed him of what his choices were and from there he was able to decide which one would gain the more favorable outcome.

3. Awareness of the situation. Yes there was a risk, but I was prepared. My body was in position and I looked for signs the he was going to be physically aggressive. Where were his hands, was he continuing to escalate, was he breathing faster, was he looking for targets? My body was in position and I was ready to do what needed to be done, and in accordance with my training, in the event the student acted out physically.

4. Follow through. Since I saw no escalation, I continued my course of action. I felt no need to repeat my directive. I just gave him time to let the directive sink in and allow him time to process what he was going to do. Thankfully, I did not need to use any personal safety techniques in this situation.

The student grunted, then slowly turned around and walked back to his seat. He then asked if I would help him. I’ll be honest, I didn’t see that coming. But, he asked so nicely, so I acknowledged the appropriateness of his request and proceeded to help.In fact, later we were able to talk about how to get the things he wants sooner using more acceptable behavior choices and bring some closure to the incident.

My main purpose for describing this situation is to point out that this job carries with it a high level of risk. My response in this student could have gone downhill fast. However I responded the way I did being fully aware of the potential risk. I have seen this particular student engage in some highly aggressive and destructive behaviors towards others and his environment in the past. I often tell teachers and parents, “If you’ve seen it once, then you should develop a plan”. A plan keeps me from overreacting or underreacting out of fear. The last thing I want is to escalate a situation because I couldn’t react to a situation appropriately. Developing a plan and understanding the risks of your responses will helps me move forward to work positively in a crisis situation.


This is an example of how a behavioral crisis situation was handled. This is not intended nor shall it be misconstrued as advice. As always, before engaging in any any major behavior change program you should consult an expert or highly trained professional such as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst.

Back through the Drive-Thru: A Follow-up on Brief FBA

Unlike this pharmacy, we cannot go through a drive-thru and ask for a bag of interventions.

A subject I can never seem to get away from is the topic of brief, or as I call them “Drive-Thru” Functional Behavior Assessments. In short, it’s an abbreviated functional analysis, as is commonly practiced in school districts, that frequently produces unreliable results. This is due to the fact that they are typically based on indirect measures of behavior (such as anecdotal reports and subjective rating scales). The professionals conducting functional analyses within a school setting do not directly observe and record quantifiable dimensions of the behavior of significance. I find this inherently problematic. I’ve actually been witness to occasions when the assessor never even observed the child’s behavior prior to writing the FBA summary!

A Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) is intended to be a document that guides educators into making data-based decisions about how to help a youngster become more socially and academically successful in school. However, too frequently the intent of a Functional Behavior Assessment and the reality of a Functional Behavior Assessment are incompatible. Often times, an FBA becomes a formality. In the end, it becomes paperwork that does not serve any real purpose, especially when it comes to helping a child.

I guess this comes back to convenience. Indirect measures of behavior provide quick positive reinforcement for the staff conducting the “assessment” and that is the quick result of a product. Tightening budgets mean less staff. Remaining staff have more responsibilities and less time. Therefore conducting a thorough functional analysis, which would lead to a more reliable diagnosis of function (and in turn a more accurately targeted intervention) gets thrown out the window. It’s a smaller-sooner way of operating, but cost wins because it gets a result. Unfortunately it may not get us the correct result. In the long run we could end up “chasing our own tails” because we hypothesize one function for the behavior and come up with interventions that get no improvement in behavior and we have to start all over again.

This leads to my next point, what is the cost? Let’s assume a table of collaborators has convened and determined a behavior occurs as a function of seeking attention. Let’s also assume that this collaboration yields interventions and agreed to implement them in an IEP meeting. What happens when the interventions are not working and the child does not make any progress? Then the IEP committee might reconvene and agree to change the intervention to some other empirically tested, peer-reviewed, yet arbitrarily selected intervention, because this intervention “works for most kids who display this behavior”.

This could go on several times throughout a school year. That does not sound very cost or time effective. Intervention is not a bag of tricks where if one trick doesn’t please the crowd you just reach in and grab another one. Applied behavior analysis is more like the filing cabinet you open and systematically search for and use only the interventions that have been proven through research to work.

I recently attended a two day workshop by Dr. Brian Iwata. The research shows very clearly that descriptive functional analyses have very low reliability rates. Yet we continue to use them. Only when we move to more experimental methods of functional analysis do we really arrive at reliable determinants of behavioral function.

Recent research by Bloom (2011) and Jensen (2011) describe trial-based FBA procedures that reduce the amount of time it takes to conduct direct functional analysis measures in schools. It is definitely worthwhile to investigate these procedures future applications.

Foundations of Data Collection in the Classroom

The term data collection can strike fear into the hearts of teachers. I come across many people who detest the thought of having to collect behavior data on their students. I have to admit there was a time in my personal and professional life when taking data ranked up there with having a tooth pulled or getting a shot from doctor.

As times have changed so has the value of collecting data. Today we here the very common buzz term “response to intervention” as way to analyze how, when, and why children transition through educational continuums. To look at it more simply, how some children gain access to or independence from specialized supports.

But collecting behavior data doesn’t need to be a burden and it doesn’t need to take away from your day. Collecting behavior data for your students can be easy and efficient if you understand the three basic foundations of data collection in the classroom: right reason, make it relevant, and keep it simple.

Foundation I: Right reason

First and foremost, identify the value of collecting the data you seek. Why do you need it and what purpose will it serve? Answering these questions will help you ensure the data you are collecting serves the purpose for which it is intended. Your primary concern when it comes to data collection is making your collected data a useful part of the program. Data collected and analyzed should be used to mold the child’s program, assess the effectiveness of the selected interventions, activities, and teaching techniques, and to look for trends in the child’s behaviors and learning. If the data you collect has no real value, other than being a good visual for meetings, there really is little point in taking data at all. On the same note, data collected for the mere purpose of just doing it, serves little purpose and is a waste of your time.

Foundation II: Make it Relevant

The second foundation is to ensure that one is taking data that are relevant and appropriate for the behavior being documented and for the goals associated with that behavior. There are a number of different types of behavioral data that one can take:

Frequency – This is perhaps the most common form of data collected. Frequency counts the number of target behaviors that occur in a given period of time. When talking about frequency, typically you will here the words “how often does the behavior happen”. Frequency can be expressed in terms of rate.

  • The time period you choose depends upon the behavior you are trying to document. But it can also depend on the setting. If child only displays the behavior in one classroom and they are there for one hour, it would be reasonable that your period of measurement would be in that classroom for a period of one hour. If you were trying to count the number of self-initiated interactions with peers at recess, the period of time for each data collection session might be 20 minutes or so. However, if one were keeping track of how often a child chose a novel activity or item, the period of measurement could be a week or more. Or, if one were collecting data on how many times a child initiated eye contact during a conversation, each data session might only be a minute or so.

How might this be used?

  • Data on the frequency of a behavior are best used when the goal for a program is to increase or decrease the occurrences of a behavior. For example: Jamie will increase the number of self-initiated interactions she makes with peers to play from one to four during a 20 minute recess period.
  • Here’s another example: Joey will decrease the number of verbal or gestural prompts required to stay on task through from four to 1 for every 30 minutes of math instruction.

Ratio – Indicates the percentage of available opportunities that a target behavior occurs. Different from frequency which is a count of the number of target behaviors that occur in a given period of time, proportion looks at the number of target behaviors that occur in a given number of opportunities. If a specific direction is given 20 times throughout the day (opportunities for a correct behavior) and the child responds correctly 15 times (actual correct behaviors) the child exhibited the target behavior 75% of the available opportunities.

As teachers, we use this type of data all the time. Whenever you give students a worksheet or test you are usually measuring by proportion. If a child is given a worksheet with 10 problems and he correctly answers 8 of the problems, then the student exhibited the target behavior 80% of the opportunities.

How might this be used?

  • Data on the ratio, or proportion, of appropriate behavior are best used when the goal for a program is to increase the quality of a behavior. Here’s an example: Camille will increase following 2-step directions from 10% of available opportunities to 70% of available opportunities.
  • Here’s another example: Shawn will increase the accuracy of correctly answering 3 digit subtraction problems with regrouping from 50% of available opportunities to 90% of available opportunities.

Duration – Basically, how long the behavior occurs. The recording of duration data is used when working with behaviors that have a clear beginning and end and occur over a span of time. You can either work on increasing or decreasing the amount of time a behavior is displayed.

Duration can be used for the recording of episodic or chained behavior such as tantrums or crisis events in which there is usually a clear beginning and end but there is more than one target behavior displayed (such as aggressive or self-injurious behaviors). Duration is good data to keep to record progress on maladaptive behaviors that have been worked on to extinguish and would like to show progress, where a single occurrence no matter how long a window (a day, a week, or a month) is still not appropriate, but we would like to show a decrease in the amount of time it may take for a child to recover.

Duration data can be helpful for interventions to increase positive behaviors as well. Duration might be targeted to increase the amount of time a child is engaged in positive alternative behaviors. For example, one might record the amount of time that a child is able to attend to a story, or sit during a social skills group, or focus on a writing assignment. So if working with a child who has a goal like sitting quietly during circle time, one would record how long the child is able to sit until a target behavior is displayed.

How might this be used?

  • The recording of duration data can be used for behaviors that you are trying to either increase or decrease the amount of time spent engaging in the behavior, depending on the situation.
  • Data on the duration of a behavior can also be used for behaviors that one is hoping to decrease or eliminate. For example: Mason will use a menu of strategies to calm himself when someone is getting one on one attention from a adult that he prefers, reducing the average length of his tantrums from five minutes to 30 seconds. Using a stopwatch I would time how long he tantrums before he uses one of those strategies. If a particular tantrum is shorter than his previous tantrum, I will give him some reinforcement. Otherwise, if he is less successful, I will implement some error correction procedure (increased prompting for example).
  • For behaviors you are trying to increase, record how long it takes until the child needs a prompt or displays target behavior. For example: Toby will increase the time he is able to sit quietly on the carpet without a prompt from 15 seconds to three minutes, I would use a stop watch and record how long Toby is able to sit until either I need to provide a prompt or until he yells out unprompted.

Latency — The period of time between the signal (also known as the discriminative stimulus) and the response. In some behavioral circles this is also known as fluency. Think of it this way, it is the time it takes from when the teacher gives a direction and the student correctly responds.

Keep in mind that latency should be considered when the behavior is a performance deficit and not for the acquisition of skills. If a child is uniformly slow to respond be sure the delay is not the result biological processing, for which, behavioral intervention may not be the best course of action. However, there are benefits to reducing latency. It increases the number of possible opportunities for learning over a certain time, allowing for more practice and quicker acquisition of skills. Typically this kind of data is taken when I am intentionally teaching the fluency of a behavioral response and therefore it is often times useful to implement programs designed to specifically reduce latency, or increase fluency.

How might this be used?

  • Reducing latency is important especially when safety is a primary concern. If I am working with a child does not quickly respond in a crisis situation I might develop a goal such as: When Julie is given a direction to go to a safe location, she will reduce the amount of time it takes to respond correctly from 30 seconds to 5 seconds.
  • Sometimes we discover that behaviors interfere with the performance of other skills, such as missing out on instruction. We might therefore develop a goal such as this: When Thomas is given a signal to transition to his next class he will reduce the amount of time it takes to independently transition to the next class from 7 minutes to 2 minutes. I might have an agenda of items for Thomas to go through as he transitions between classes and record how long it takes for him to complete the transition once the class bell rings. If the transition is shorter than the previous one, then I will give him some form of reinforcement.
  • Additionally, latency may be a measure one wishes to track, even when a program isn’t specifically designed to address noted delays in responding. Over-practice of a skill until it is an extremely rapid response may be beneficial in building fluency and ease of application of the behavior.

Inter-response time – Inter-response time is the period of time between behaviors. Typically our focus is on behaviors themselves and not the amount of time between occurrences. However, there are a few purposes for tracking this information. For example if a child asks to use the restroom frequently, you might want to track how much time passes between requests. This data is useful for schedule building. If I know he needs to use the restroom approximately every hour, then I might make some schedule changes to accommodate for restroom breaks.

How might this be used?

  • This form of data is very effective in determining reinforcement schedules. If a student displays a target behavior an average every 15 minutes, then I know that the child should receive reinforcement for appropriate behaviors in approximately 15 minute intervals with the goal being to increase the interval over time. A goal might look like this: Michael will increase the amount of time between verbal outburst from 5 minutes to 20 minutes.
  • Sean will increase the amount of time between requests for restroom breaks from 15 minutes to 30 minutes.

Intensity — To what degree was the behavior present?

Because intensity data is often times very subjective, it is less often used. However, there are practical applications for its use. There are times when behaviors are not easily measurable or observable, you are attempting to describe a progression of behaviors, or trying to prioritize behaviors. Create a simple behavior scale where a child’s behavior can be recorded on a scale of 1-5, with 1 being the least severe and 5 being the most severe. On this scale each level provides criteria information on what each of those scores represents. This helps to establish some degree of objectivity and specificity for a particular behavior and thus making the tracking of the intensity of that behavior more worthwhile.

How might this be used?

  • Rating scales are often used for describing the intensity of a behavior. For a child who has frequent aggressive outbursts when asked to work, an example might appear like this:
  • 1: Jack initially refuses, but begins work within 10 seconds.
    2: Jack argues, and does not begin work after 10 seconds.
    3: Jack attempts to leave the work area.
    4: Jack knocks over furniture or throws objects and materials.
    5: Jack aggresses using physical contact toward his teacher or a peer.

For each episode, you would record only the most severe behavior, even if more than one occurred.

Foundation III: Keep it simple

The third foundation is finding a style of data collection and analysis that is simple, comfortable, and effective for you. Time is precious and we don’t want to spend more time with our data than with our kids. The style in which you collect and analyze data will be as individual as each person working with a child and with the activity or behavior being documented. Here are a few tips and ideas on collecting and making use of data. See how you can modify these to work for you.

  • Keep an index card or small notebook in your pocket. This can be very handy for any documentation you want to keep throughout the day from tallies, to times, to basic behavior notes. Anecdotal data is the worst data you can use, if you have something tangible to look at to refresh your memory it is much better than trying to recall events on your own.
  • For behaviors that are frequent and countable, one great way to track the number of occurrences is to use small counters. Start the day with a handful of small objects such as poker chips, or plastic counters (there are so many possibilities that I won’t list them) in your right pocket. Each time you see the target behavior during the day, move a chip from the right pocket to the left. At the end of the day, total up the chips in your left pocket and record.
  • Tally counters are very useful for tallying behaviors that occur frequently, quickly, and in a variety of settings where carrying a clipboard or legal pad around might not be feasible. A counter can be used to count the number of times a student calls out an answer, answers correctly, or gets out of his seat. I once counted the number of times a student flashed his middle finger at his peers (it happened that often) using a counter. This list of behaviors you can count with a counter is infinite. I just kept the counter in my left hand and tallied as I taught. Counters are available at many office supplies stores and online.
  • Place a large address label onto your thigh or sleeve for an easy, portable tally or note sheet. It looks silly, but it works, and no bulky clipboards to carry around.
  • A stopwatch can be very useful for recording duration, latency, inter-response times. When I was in the classroom I often times kept a stopwatch or timer clipped to my belt.
  • Pre-made activities such as file folder games are great for data collection. Once the child completes the activity it can be checked for proportion accuracy.
  • Lastly and most importantly, make time for your data! Data is supposed to help you shape the child’s program, therefore it is only useful if you review it and use it.
    • Daily: Take a few minutes at the end of each day to quickly review your data. Some guiding questions to ask are: Did the child have any performance problems or improvements today that you might want to rethink for tomorrow (such as additional/reduced prompting, more/less visual supports, a decreased/increased demand)? Did anything go particularly well that we can build on for tomorrow?
    • Weekly: Take a few minutes at the end of the week to plot your new data points onto graphs (graphs make for good helpful visuals that are easy to interpret). Are there emerging trends which may drive the next week?
    • Monthly: Take a few minutes at the end of each month Are there any patterns telling you how the program has gone and where it might be headed?

Do you have you any tips on making data collection and analysis easier in the classroom? Do you have any data sheets that you have found particularly easy to use? Please feel free to let me know!

It’s a Positive Negative!

I frequently encounter educators using the term “negative reinforcement” as a synonym for punishment. Because the word “negative” is used, people often think this term means it is something “bad”. This is far from the truth. Don’t let the “negative” part fool you. In negative reinforcement, an unpleasant stimulus is withdrawn from the equation, once the desired response is generated. Reinforcement is actually a good thing. Let me demonstrate with some examples in a school setting:

Example # 1A student is told that he will exempted from doing his homework if he helps out other students in a peer study group.

In this example, the undesirable stimulus of ‘doing homework’ is removed, when the child helps in peer study group. The helping of peers was the response that was expected of him.

Example # 2A class is told that they will be kept after school for extra time to work on a project unless they forgo fifteen minutes of their lunch break for a week.

This is another form of the negative reinforcement in the classroom. Here, the stimulus that is taken away is the inconvenience of spending time after school. The class sacrifices a part of their lunch break and the project gets completed on time.

Example # 3A teacher decides to assign students to a study hall period as a make-up work period for all students who do not complete their assignments. 

This is a commonly used negative reinforcement example at school. With the prospect of avoiding the unpleasant experience of study hall (or detention) being removed, the student will make sure that they complete their assignments on time. This is what the teacher required and wanted in the first place.

Example # 4A teacher tells students that for every specified number of problems completed correctly, the total number of problems is reduced.

This is another popular example of negative reinforcement however this one involves work reduction. By demonstrating mastery or fluency of the work, the teacher removes the total amount of work the student needs to complete. This provides motivation for students to work not just to complete tasks but to complete them with accuracy.

Example #5: Students ask the teacher repeatedly to play a movie on Friday. In order to end the continuous requests to watch a movie in class, the teacher provides the students with a movie.

Teachers’ behaviors also frequently operate under negative reinforcement. The stimulus being removed is listening to the frequent requests from children. When she provides the students with the movie, she no longer hears requests from the students.

In order for all of these examples to be considered as reinforcement, we will have to assume that contingency in fact led to an increase in the desired behavior. If the desired behavior did not increase, then by definition it is not reinforcement.

The behavior management myth.

I want to speak briefly on the term behavior management. To put it directly, behavior is not something you manage. Behavior is something you teach. We control behavior no more than we control the weather. The difference being that we can control the environment and contingencies that elicit behaviors (that doesn’t work so well with the weather). I can teach and model my expectations for my kids and my students. I can provide them with reinforcement for the behaviors I would like to see more often. But to say that I manage the behavior would be incorrect. Every child has the choice to do what they want. I am only managing to do what I can to increase the likelihood that the child will choose to do what I want.